This house was built for laser tag.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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