So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
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he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
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This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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