my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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