Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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