after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
