I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
