youre lurking in front of me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
