We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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