ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
