It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
