it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
