the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Everything about him screamed your future.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
