I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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