Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
