considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize