Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
