I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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