Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She told me I should be a condom model.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
