I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize