yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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