walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
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toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
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Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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