PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize