.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
