I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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