She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
