why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
