i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
