I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
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It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen