terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver