Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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