It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
