you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize