Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
