babies were throwing up all over the place
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
