Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i permit you to call me
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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