I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
