he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
