his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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