SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
