Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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