I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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