i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just found puke in my bra..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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