The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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