I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
