we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
