i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
