is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
