remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
