bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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