you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
