can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
