Swine flu. Run for my life!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
