I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
