Where are you?
In a non slutty way
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
