so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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